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The Healing Time

By: Pesha Joyce Gertler.

©All rights reserved.

Finally on my way to yes

I bump into

all the places

where I said no

to my life

all the untended wounds

the red and purple scars

those hieroglyphs of pain

carved into my skin, my bones

those coded messages

that send me down

the wrong street

again and again

where I find them

the old wounds

the old misdirections

and I lift them

one by one

close to my heart

and I say–

…holy…

…holy.

~~~

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When someone has hurt us,

consciously or unconsciously,

one of the most difficult things

we have to face in resolving the situation

is the act of forgiveness.


Sometimes it feels like it’s easier

not to forgive

and that the answer is

to simply cut the person in question

out of our lives.


In some cases, ending the relationship

may be the right thing to do,

but even in that case,

we will only be free

if we have truly forgiven.


If we harbor bitterness in our hearts

against anyone,

we only hurt ourselves

because we are the ones

harboring the bitterness.


Choosing to forgive

is choosing to alleviate ourselves

of that burden,

choosing to be free of the past,

and choosing not to perceive ourselves

as victims.

One of the reasons

that forgiveness can be so challenging

is that we feel we are condoning the actions

of the person who caused our suffering,

but this is a misunderstanding of what is required.


In order to forgive,

we simply need to get to a place

where we are ready to stop identifying ourselves

with the suffering that was caused us.


Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves,

and our forgiveness of others

is an extension

of our readiness to let go

of our own pain.


Getting to this point begins

with fully accepting what has happened.


Through this acceptance,

we allow ourselves to feel

and process our emotions.

It can be helpful to articulate our feelings

in writing over a period of days or even weeks.


As we allow ourselves to say what we need to say

and ask for what we need to heal,

we will find that this changes each day.


It may be confusing,

but it is a sign of progress.


At times we may feel

as if we are slogging uphill

through dense mud and thick trees,

getting nowhere.


If we keep going, however,

we will reach a summit

and see clearly

that we are finally free of the past.


From here, we recognize

that suffering comes from suffering,

and compassion

for those who have hurt us

naturally arises,

enhancing our new perspective.


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